Your mother-in-law—we’ll call her Google—opens the door and greets you with an enormous hug.
Like clockwork, Bing says something inappropriate vaguely masked as a greeting, before slapping you on the back and beelining it for the fridge.
He nimbly dodges his wife’s death stare as he does, leaving you in the doorway to be examined by Google.
Don’t just blurt out anything, you think to yourself as you feel her all-knowing eyes pierce the content of your soul.
Say something of value.
You take a chance and have a dig at Bing (albeit slightly reserved) and earn a laugh from Google and your partner. Even YouTube, the younger brother, giggles from the hallway.
You may have lost points with Bing, but it’s Google you need to impress.
As always, dinner’s delicious and the conversation’s amicable. You’re one of the lucky ones who actually get on with their partner’s family.
Over the years, you’ve come to realise that although the ever changing inner workings of your in-laws are inexplicably complex, all they want is high-quality content.
They punish those foolish enough to use black-hat techniques and they reward writers who create content strong enough not to need them.
Their algorithms (yes, your partner’s family are AI robots) are so advanced that they can skim through millions of hours of content as if they were a human.
This leads to the number one rule of interacting with Google—in other words, SEO writing.
Create useful content for HUMANS, not ALGORITHMS.
Yes, your mother-in-law’s a robot, but she’s so advanced she behaves like a human and can sniff out bs in a heartbeat.
With that being said, there are many proactive things you can do to improve your relationship with Google and co.
Much like bringing food round on Boxing Day and making sure you’ve made a bit of effort to dress up for formal events, sharpening your content doesn’t hurt.
The good news?
There are so many SEO tools that can help you do this, many of them being free.
The big kahuna that every SEO writer should have in their toolkit is is Google Search Console. It offers unparalleled keyword data and valuable insight as to how your mother-in-law ranks your content.
Lastly, I wouldn’t understate the power of having a few beers with YouTube and getting acquainted with the myriad of SEO tutorials he has to offer. I swear he knows how Google thinks… it’s as if they’re related or something.